Healing many layers

In the end
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?”  Gautama Buddha

The last line of this beautiful quote “How deeply did you let go” is really sitting with me this week.  As I continue to write my book about my journey through grief, I realise there are many layers of healing that take place over our life time.  How quickly I move through these healings will depend on how deeply I let go.

Healing can be deceiving.  Many times I have told myself or have heard from others, “Oh I let go of that many years ago” or “That doesn’t bother me anymore” only to have it triggered again by a innocent comment or a reminder of the past.

We convince ourselves we have moved on from our wounds and pain and yet, we cannot hide from our truth.  It may face us in a sickness, our anger, or unhappiness in our relationships.  Often we blame these circumstances for our discontentment, when it can be because we are still holding on.

Letting go always begins with stillness.  If I continue to face a hurt from the past, I need time to understand why.  I allow the silence to help connect me to my feelings.  When I feel where my pain is, I let go through allowing forgiveness in, either to myself or to those who have hurt me.

Each layer from our past is here to teach us to grow and understand ourselves and our journey.

In choosing to let go deeply, we will find more space within to expand our view on everything in life.


44 thoughts on “Healing many layers

  1. Discovering those layers can be surprising at times. Our will to let go only seems to cause us to hold on tighter. Interesting, this journey of life is.

  2. i’ve enjoyed my teacher use
    the more active form of letting go
    to throw out.
    which i try to some success
    but sometimes it gets thrown back 🙂

  3. It is a a forever journey, I think. But I like the idea of deep mining in order to free up energy for living and experiencing what we are here to learn.

    1. Yes well said Eliza, “deep mining” is a great description, because often we only heal the surface, when in fact there are many layers beneath. Thankyou

  4. It’s not the letting go that hurts. it is the holding on. I notice that my issues or grief layers come around like a spiral. When they come around again, it feels like, “I thought I already dealt with that!” And I did, but now it is at a higher level of truth. So each time it comes around, it is a bit easier, and dealt with hopefully with more wisdom.

    1. You describe healing perfectly and this is what happens to me as well. I am letting go a lot easier now, compared to the beginning of my journey. We do hurt ourselves by holding on, but most people believe “it feels safe” and there lies the resistance to the unknown and to healing. Thankyou for your comment.

  5. PS. I love this image!! The dandelion seed head and birds. What a great picture for letting go!

  6. Karen, I enjoyed your post. And can understand your difficulty in reliving the trials you’ve experienced. All challenges are unique to each of us, but sorrow’s effects are the same.
    When I wrote my autobiography, about my life experience with polio: “The Little Red Chair,” I had just lost my mom, who was so influential in my life. While I struggled with the late effects of polio syndrome she was in a stuggle with her own issues that would eventually take her from us on New Year’s Eve day.
    In writing that book I, too, relived the events of my life; the good, the bad and the ugly. And through the angst and sorrow I found release, relief and renewal. I came to understand that we can only do our best when we are in that moment. And that so long as we are making that best effort out of love and deal as well as we can with our fears, we should have no regrets. We can not think of what another would have done in our shoes; for the shoes are only ours to wear. We must always remember that when the darkest moments are upon us we still feel as though we are not alone. That presence is our God who promised that He will always be with us.

    As C.S. Lewis said; “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts to us in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
    God’s gift to us is our lives. Our gift to God is to live them well.

    If you are finding difficulty with the pain relived because of the nature of the book you are writing, take it from one who’s been there, you are on the right track. It will be successful, wonderful and healing.

    1. A wonderful comment Alan that holds great truth. The CS Lewis quote is a great reminder because it can take a megaphone to wake us up out of pain! I appreciate your encouragement and look forward to checking out your book today. 🙂

      1. I thank you, as always, for your kind responses, Karen. It is my hope that my responses remain helpful. They originate from a loving God, who works through us all, so that we may, by our word and action, be His bearers of comfort and strength to each other.
        “The Little Red Chair” was my first effort in writing. Thanks for your interest and I hope you enjoy it.

    2. I just read an extract from your book yesterday and it was great! Your journey was definitely one of courage and strength. Your parents love and support throughout your sickness played a fundamental part of who you are today and your strong faith. 🙂

  7. OMG! Oh my Greek! 😀 You delved very deep here. I often wondered about things like this. I’m very much convinced that I’m over the relationship I had, but oftentimes I question it. Even having relationships after her, I still think about her. Awful of me, but oh well, can’t help it. What I always think about is that she’s happy and constantly I just have to let go, and that I should be happy wherever I’m at, whatever relationship I’m in right now. 😉

    1. “Oh my Greek” ha ha is that a saying in Greece?? 🙂 Well you can think about your old girlfriend but if she is stopping you from being present in your relationship right now, you may be holding some energy for her still. If she left you, “Are you still upset about that?” Sometimes its hard to let go of the past especially when we were not ready to let go and they were. You have the answers within you. Just listen. Thanks for sharing Rommel. 🙂

    1. I think it’s about timing Kath. Sometimes we are not ready to go to the next level of healing. But you will know when because it keeps facing us. It’s good when we complete a layer and gets easier through time. ❤️ Thankyou

  8. Karen, for a long time I have been struggling to be ehqled emotionally. And everything you said in this post is true! The exact experience I had when I thought I was already healed and trigger comes and I go “insane” again… It is true it is in stillness that begins healing. All the effort and all the hard work should be worth it. I am not so sure but I have the feeling I am getting there!!!! Thank you for this post : )

    1. The fact that you are aware of it, is always the beginning of your healing Khristine. We all have layers to work through. It is worth the effort and time that stillness takes. I have seen all my changes from stillness. Many thanks for your comment.

      1. I totally agree with you. Awareness is the beautiful start. Thank you Karen!!! : ) We will be in touch to inspire. God bless!!!

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