In the end
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?” Gautama Buddha
The last line of this beautiful quote “How deeply did you let go” is really sitting with me this week. As I continue to write my book about my journey through grief, I realise there are many layers of healing that take place over our life time. How quickly I move through these healings will depend on how deeply I let go.
Healing can be deceiving. Many times I have told myself or have heard from others, “Oh I let go of that many years ago” or “That doesn’t bother me anymore” only to have it triggered again by a innocent comment or a reminder of the past.
We convince ourselves we have moved on from our wounds and pain and yet, we cannot hide from our truth. It may face us in a sickness, our anger, or unhappiness in our relationships. Often we blame these circumstances for our discontentment, when it can be because we are still holding on.
Letting go always begins with stillness. If I continue to face a hurt from the past, I need time to understand why. I allow the silence to help connect me to my feelings. When I feel where my pain is, I let go through allowing forgiveness in, either to myself or to those who have hurt me.
Each layer from our past is here to teach us to grow and understand ourselves and our journey.
In choosing to let go deeply, we will find more space within to expand our view on everything in life.
44 thoughts on “Healing many layers”
Discovering those layers can be surprising at times. Our will to let go only seems to cause us to hold on tighter. Interesting, this journey of life is.
It is interesting Em, we are always learning more about this journey and it’s good to have wonderful bloggers to share it with. Thankyou. 🙂
i’ve enjoyed my teacher use
the more active form of letting go
to throw out.
which i try to some success
but sometimes it gets thrown back 🙂
Yes it does have a way of coming back! Still, just another layer and another chance to throw out. 💚
my pitching arm
Ha great 🙂
It sounds so easy, but it is a huge job to release the past for serious.
So true Irene, not an easy task, but it is worth the feeling of lightness after the hard work. 🙂
The picture is so perfect!
I agree, it said exactly what I was feeling. Thankyou so much. 🙂
It is a a forever journey, I think. But I like the idea of deep mining in order to free up energy for living and experiencing what we are here to learn.
Yes well said Eliza, “deep mining” is a great description, because often we only heal the surface, when in fact there are many layers beneath. Thankyou
This subject Karen is very special to me, thank you for your thoughtful writing.
Thankyou for being here Mary. 🙂
It’s not the letting go that hurts. it is the holding on. I notice that my issues or grief layers come around like a spiral. When they come around again, it feels like, “I thought I already dealt with that!” And I did, but now it is at a higher level of truth. So each time it comes around, it is a bit easier, and dealt with hopefully with more wisdom.
You describe healing perfectly and this is what happens to me as well. I am letting go a lot easier now, compared to the beginning of my journey. We do hurt ourselves by holding on, but most people believe “it feels safe” and there lies the resistance to the unknown and to healing. Thankyou for your comment.
PS. I love this image!! The dandelion seed head and birds. What a great picture for letting go!
Thanks Mary, it was a great visual for letting go. 🙂
Karen, I enjoyed your post. And can understand your difficulty in reliving the trials you’ve experienced. All challenges are unique to each of us, but sorrow’s effects are the same.
When I wrote my autobiography, about my life experience with polio: “The Little Red Chair,” I had just lost my mom, who was so influential in my life. While I struggled with the late effects of polio syndrome she was in a stuggle with her own issues that would eventually take her from us on New Year’s Eve day.
In writing that book I, too, relived the events of my life; the good, the bad and the ugly. And through the angst and sorrow I found release, relief and renewal. I came to understand that we can only do our best when we are in that moment. And that so long as we are making that best effort out of love and deal as well as we can with our fears, we should have no regrets. We can not think of what another would have done in our shoes; for the shoes are only ours to wear. We must always remember that when the darkest moments are upon us we still feel as though we are not alone. That presence is our God who promised that He will always be with us.
As C.S. Lewis said; “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts to us in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
God’s gift to us is our lives. Our gift to God is to live them well.
If you are finding difficulty with the pain relived because of the nature of the book you are writing, take it from one who’s been there, you are on the right track. It will be successful, wonderful and healing.
A wonderful comment Alan that holds great truth. The CS Lewis quote is a great reminder because it can take a megaphone to wake us up out of pain! I appreciate your encouragement and look forward to checking out your book today. 🙂
I thank you, as always, for your kind responses, Karen. It is my hope that my responses remain helpful. They originate from a loving God, who works through us all, so that we may, by our word and action, be His bearers of comfort and strength to each other.
“The Little Red Chair” was my first effort in writing. Thanks for your interest and I hope you enjoy it.
I just read an extract from your book yesterday and it was great! Your journey was definitely one of courage and strength. Your parents love and support throughout your sickness played a fundamental part of who you are today and your strong faith. 🙂
Thanks Karen for your interest in my story. God was and is good to me, as I believe He is to us all. I was dealt a tough hand in life, but God stacked the deck in my favor; He blessed me with the love of courageous parents.
So true 🙂
As always, love your wisdom words!
Thankyou for your support 🙂
OMG! Oh my Greek! 😀 You delved very deep here. I often wondered about things like this. I’m very much convinced that I’m over the relationship I had, but oftentimes I question it. Even having relationships after her, I still think about her. Awful of me, but oh well, can’t help it. What I always think about is that she’s happy and constantly I just have to let go, and that I should be happy wherever I’m at, whatever relationship I’m in right now. 😉
“Oh my Greek” ha ha is that a saying in Greece?? 🙂 Well you can think about your old girlfriend but if she is stopping you from being present in your relationship right now, you may be holding some energy for her still. If she left you, “Are you still upset about that?” Sometimes its hard to let go of the past especially when we were not ready to let go and they were. You have the answers within you. Just listen. Thanks for sharing Rommel. 🙂
Ah! These words are so true…so true! Have a beautiful weekend, Karen ♡
Thank you lovely Lorrie. Have a lovely weekend too 💚💚
I will think some more on letting go, and deeper sounds like a challenge but doable. Thanks Karen.
I think it’s about timing Kath. Sometimes we are not ready to go to the next level of healing. But you will know when because it keeps facing us. It’s good when we complete a layer and gets easier through time. ❤️ Thankyou
Karen, for a long time I have been struggling to be ehqled emotionally. And everything you said in this post is true! The exact experience I had when I thought I was already healed and trigger comes and I go “insane” again… It is true it is in stillness that begins healing. All the effort and all the hard work should be worth it. I am not so sure but I have the feeling I am getting there!!!! Thank you for this post : )
The fact that you are aware of it, is always the beginning of your healing Khristine. We all have layers to work through. It is worth the effort and time that stillness takes. I have seen all my changes from stillness. Many thanks for your comment.
I totally agree with you. Awareness is the beautiful start. Thank you Karen!!! : ) We will be in touch to inspire. God bless!!!
Thankyou Khristine. 🙂
To be healed is what I meant (typo error)
Thankyou for your comment. And thankyou for stopping by.
Very nice time spent on your blog
Have a nice new week for you
Excellent post 🙂
Thankyou so much 🙂