“If you are living out of a sense of obligation, you are a slave.” – Wayne Dyer
How many times have you said to yourself “But I feel so obligated?” It’s a familiar line to me and one that has definitely caused me to be a slave in some aspects of my life.
My sister called me to share how she is letting go of the obligations that have bound her over the years and it challenged me to find the areas in my life where I feel obligated out of fear.
A few years ago, when picking up my children from school, I began to notice a nine-year old girl waiting to catch the bus home each day. Everytime I saw her, I became annoyed at the Mother because she didn’t make an effort to pick her up or at least get someone else to help her. I felt like this girl was too young to be on her own and wanted to change that for her.
Our minds keep us busy and often it is simply to avoid connecting to our heart and listening to what we really need and listening to how we can nurture ourselves.
Below is a beautiful poem that Sa Silvano wrote to remind us that when we are busy with too many thoughts, we lose connection to our truth and from healing.
Friends since childhood, Director Frazer Bailey and Producer Justin Lyons are passionate storytellers and seekers of truth. Frazer sent me his finished documentary yesterday and I wanted to share this with you.
I have spent years practising to have more self-love and self-compassion for myself. It never felt natural to me, even though it is our natural state. I began a journey to train and re-train myself to spend less time in my judgemental mind and more time in my heart, to a place of acceptance.
Self-love refers to the tendency to be caring and understanding with ourself rather than being harshly critical or judgmental. Instead of taking a cold ‘stiff-upper-lip’ approach in times of suffering, self-love and kindness offers soothing and comfort to the self.
Life is harsh and very stressful at times and berating ourselves for being less than perfect puts a lot of pressure on us and does not nurture our souls or heart.
Recognise that we are all imperfect, fail and make mistakes at times. It connects our own flawed condition to the shared human condition so we can have a greater perspective towards our own shortcomings and difficulties.
When we give ourselves permission to be human and indulge in self-love, we will recover much more quickly and see life through a more open heart and mind.
Don’t confuse self-compassion with self-indulgence, if we don’t share with others what is going on in our life, if we don’t ask for what we need, then you may find that others do not respond the way you hoped.
“My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.” – Shakti Gawain
When we have the courage to let the walls down – to know and embrace ourselves, despite what may be going on, we also open the door to connecting in a more caring, empathic, intimate way with others and this will reflect within the people that surround us and love us.
If this is not happening for you, look inwardly and search for your answers. Why are you not being loved the way you want? Are you limiting yourself from giving fully to others out of fear of rejection? When do you allow yourself to be nurtured and loved?
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
