“I should”…….

“If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies…”  Unknown

Change is difficult, and procrastination is easy—at least for the moment. But there is no reward or happy future in procrastination.

The most difficult part of creating a lasting change is deciding to make that change a reality—which is deciding to take action.  These are a few of our daily “I should’s”

I should stop spending money.
I should work fewer hours.
I should eat healthier food.
I should make time for stillness and meditation.
I should exercise more.
I should, I should, I should.

So what are we waiting for?  Sadly I have a few friends who have been diagnosed with terminal cancer and unfortunately for them, “I should” has now become “I must.”

Are we waiting for “I must?” A decision is not a real decision until we believe it is a must; it is not a real decision until you feel it on every level of your being. Once our “shoulds” have turned into “musts”, only then do we create action towards change.

If we want to change our habits, we need to figure out what triggers the behavior we want to stop. This could be a wound from the past, a feeling of emptiness, or a need within. Instead of acting out of habit, we have to choose a new behavior that will eventually become a habit. This change takes discipline, willpower and commitment each day.

Don’t let your “shoulds” keep you from moving into the fullness and abundance of life.

51 thoughts on ““I should”…….

  1. “Choosing new behaviour that will become habit” .. That’s it in a nutshell Kaz! Absolutely fabulous words. I will always remember this, thanks for such great words. ❤️

  2. Shoulds are denying what is happening rather than accepting it and making a choice to want to do something differently.
    Lets all stop shoulding all over ourselves!

  3. I get this and was thinking that recently I want to tell people that they should visit their parents more because once we move out, we’ve been with them 93% of the time we’ll ever be with them. Yet I’m not sure if someone had told me to do so back when, that I would have made it a must. I didn’t know until my dad passed away. I didn’t know till I knew. And I wonder if that is true of all of us in a variety of situations. ❤
    Diana xo

    1. You make a very important point Diana. Being conscious and aware of each moment we have here, really helps us appreciate and love those around us. “I didn’t know till I knew” is a universal reflection after an event, Your passion to get this message to others is mine too, after Nathan died. We don’t know what is ahead for anyone but we can choose to make our life a “must”

  4. Like Nike said, “Just do it.” I like to say, “Do it sooner, Mary.” It’s a good distinction between not wanting to “should” and procrastination. Thanks Karen.

    1. I like your thoughts Mary! “Do it sooner” is exactly what we all need to take on board. Life is fleeting, live in the fullness of this moment. Thankyou, and blessings.

  5. In general, I believe people are over burdened with all types of emotions that impede their ability to overcome habitual patterns of behavior. It’s not so much they don’t know what to do; it’s more they don’t know what it takes to focus and commit to a new path. The “pain” they experience on their current path does not produce enough incentive. As you write, as the situation becomes critical (potentially life threatening) the “pain” threshold is crossed creating emotional need and acceptance for change.
    Learning to bridge the gap between understanding the need for change on an intellectual level versus a life threatening level is rarely discussed. Learning to implement behavior that optimizes health and well being needs to be a topic of discussion early in development. Creating healthy patterns in children will likely create healthier adults.

    1. I agree Jonathan, our motivation does seem to be about incentive, unfortunately the “Must” type. If we can teach our children these wonderful attitudes while they are young, then they will have a healthier future. Today is always a good day to start.

  6. Cancer is such a teacher, right? I had a close friend who passed away from it and realized the screenplay she’d been working on for years should have been sent out years ago. So sad. Great reminder to do it now.

  7. I respond so much better when I really have a good look at a should. Some of my shoulds are really wants hidden behind a fear. Getting to want helps overcome fear.

  8. Regarding my health my ‘should’ turned into a ‘must’ when I gave my self a year to focus on that as a top priority. Before it was always buried among too many other resolutions such as being tidy, punctual, frugal, etc etc

  9. It takes 21 days to change a habit, or to create a new one. Change is hard for most people. It is challenging at best, because for better or for worse, we are creatures of habit and comfort. When we get comfortable, we get lazy. I think most of the time, we are just waiting for the right motivation. Something that will push us from…it’s comfortable and known…even when it is actually uncomfortable….to wow, I must find a new norm…because this is not working for me anymore.

  10. Reblogged this on Khris Lazaro and commented:
    A powerful line: Change takes discipline, willpower and commitment each day. And a reminder that change is a natural and inevitable part of life. We try to keep an open mind.

  11. Good motivation! “I will,” is a good one, especially if we make an appointment with ourselves. When “I will” and “I must” turn into, “I am,” then we’re really moving! Sometimes baby steps are all we need to get started.

  12. Great post Karen Im all for change and I do see when I am stressed or over tired I will take the easy options with food and the will power is not as strong. Sleep is the best start because if I feel tired at the start of the day its not easy to make my changes. Plodding along and now meditating at least once a day, not easy but slowly changing my habits.

    1. It is a daily choice for all of us. Some days easier than others. I love the results I receive each time and that is my motivation. Glad to hear you are practising each day. 🙂

  13. I didn’t tell you that I also am a counselor. A former middle school counselor who spent much time working with kids and their parents on the importance of choices and changes. Figuring out what our behavior gives us that makes us unwilling to change. Sounds easy but we all know how hard it can be. Nice piece.

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