Out of the Darkness

 Because you are alive, everything is possible.”  – Thich Nhat Hanh

When we stop dreaming and feeling that there are no possibilities ahead for us, and have no-one to turn to, we begin to lose our motivation for life and our hope to move forward.

“Darkness has a hunger that is insatiable, and lightness has a call that is hard to hear.” (Meditations from the mat –  Rolf Gates)

We have all felt like this at times, overwhelmed with emotions and unmotivated to believe we can change our situation.

Finding ourselves in this dark place, we often feel disappointed for arriving here.  Our guilt and judgemental thoughts keep us stuck and when we don’t accept or acknowledge our pain, it continues to grow and we feel trapped.

The only way we can begin to accept a new sense of happiness into our life, is to make space for it.  If our heart is filled with pain and hurt, we cannot open it up to new experiences and healing.

These steps have helped me.

* Make a decision to move out of this place

* Have a routine everyday that gets you up and out of the darkness

* Express your pain and accept your responsibility of this situation

* Talk to a good friend or Therapist.

* Be kind and loving towards yourself

* Start a Journal to express your feelings or through creative sources like Art or Writing.

* Forgive yourself and others

* Spend time in stillness and listen for that voice of reason and hope

15 thoughts on “Out of the Darkness

  1. I was wondering, Karen, if it is possible to come out of this period of darkness too quickly thus interfering with the work it is seeking to do in our lives. I know that the dark night of the soul has a rhythm and a time of its own. Our birth out of it in to that which is new, I think, can sometimes be premature. To what extent do we need to discern this when we go through times like these, or is it really an issue. Just wondering out aloud. 🙂 thanks for a great post.

    1. Great point Don. I think there is no quick way out of the darkness, because it has often taken some years of build up and emotional pain to get to that point. I have found in order for people to fully heal out of this darkness, they need to take time to face the demons and or hurts and this often cannot be done alone.

      Some who perhaps pretend they have dealt with it, or suppress it with drugs, (needed in some cases I know) soon find another trigger point to take them back to the same place and continue what can be a lifetime of chronic emotional pain.

      As we know, there are no quick fixes for deep depression and so we can only encourage people to make daily changes and choices to take them through what can be a very difficult journey towards healing.

      Thankyou so much for your insight.

  2. Thank you for this post, Karen. These days I am doing a guided meditation series from Panache Desai, which includes a period of detox, i.e. gentle permission to acknowledge painful events. I have been surprised at the wounds still in my orbit — “oh, I had forgotten about you, but there you are”. Except of course they’re not forgotten. The most grievous injuries are the things I said to myself to explain these events. For me, those explanations have become limitations which I then believed to be true. Proofs of my unworthiness, proofs of why it’s wise to be guarded, etc. I am coming to believe that I can lovingly witness these painful events, instead of hiding from them behind layers of rationale. I have also been aided by the daily “morning pages” advocated by Julia Cameron. In my morning pages I was astonished at how direct is the connection between childhood cruelties and my adult tendency of being reserved.

    Just before reading your post, I was reading the words of my blogosphere friend Gunta, who has just written to get out there and have fun/a>. This happens to correspond to another bit Julia Cameron’s advice — to replenish the well by treating ourselves to nurturing experiences.

    1. Thankyou so much for sharing your experiences MK. You describe emotional pain perfectly and how the wounds from our past do not leave us until we face them. Your words, “I can lovingly witness these painful events” is a beautiful description of healing.

      Thankyou for for the link as well, I am sure you words will inspire someone today.

  3. Is it really an issue? Good point. I think it’s okay with being stagnant, just as long as you’re happy with where you are and you’re not burying yourself. 😉

    1. I don’t think it is an issue for you, me or the average stable person, but unfortunately I know of a few that are really stuck in this darkness and really believe they cannot move out of this place. It can be debilatating for their life and for those around them.

    1. Thankyou Elizabeth. I wanted it to be open, as darkness from grief or deep wounds can lead into clinical depression and if we cannot move through those stages early on, this can lead us into to feeling stuck and powerless. When we are not able to move out this place, I thought of some ways that might help.

      Darkness no matter what the cause needs to be walked through at times, in order for us to appreciate the beautiful light within us.

  4. Fabulous list of steps for stuckness. My own process works almost exactly the same. Thank you for affirming creativity as a means of healing. This is my true passion and calling!

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