A few years ago, when picking up my children from school, I began to notice a nine-year old girl waiting to catch the bus home each day. Everytime I saw her, I became annoyed at the Mother because she didn’t make an effort to pick her up or at least get someone else to help her. I felt like this girl was too young to be on her own and wanted to change that for her.
Our minds keep us busy and often it is simply to avoid connecting to our heart and listening to what we really need and listening to how we can nurture ourselves.
Below is a beautiful poem that Sa Silvano wrote to remind us that when we are busy with too many thoughts, we lose connection to our truth and from healing.
Friends since childhood, Director Frazer Bailey and Producer Justin Lyons are passionate storytellers and seekers of truth. Frazer sent me his finished documentary yesterday and I wanted to share this with you.
I have spent years practising to have more self-love and self-compassion for myself. It never felt natural to me, even though it is our natural state. I began a journey to train and re-train myself to spend less time in my judgemental mind and more time in my heart, to a place of acceptance.
Self-love refers to the tendency to be caring and understanding with ourself rather than being harshly critical or judgmental. Instead of taking a cold ‘stiff-upper-lip’ approach in times of suffering, self-love and kindness offers soothing and comfort to the self.
Life is harsh and very stressful at times and berating ourselves for being less than perfect puts a lot of pressure on us and does not nurture our souls or heart.
Recognise that we are all imperfect, fail and make mistakes at times. It connects our own flawed condition to the shared human condition so we can have a greater perspective towards our own shortcomings and difficulties.
When we give ourselves permission to be human and indulge in self-love, we will recover much more quickly and see life through a more open heart and mind.
Don’t confuse self-compassion with self-indulgence, if we don’t share with others what is going on in our life, if we don’t ask for what we need, then you may find that others do not respond the way you hoped.
“My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.” – Shakti Gawain
When we have the courage to let the walls down – to know and embrace ourselves, despite what may be going on, we also open the door to connecting in a more caring, empathic, intimate way with others and this will reflect within the people that surround us and love us.
If this is not happening for you, look inwardly and search for your answers. Why are you not being loved the way you want? Are you limiting yourself from giving fully to others out of fear of rejection? When do you allow yourself to be nurtured and loved?
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Whatever we are feeling about another person, is an emotional energy that lies within us – Sa Silvano
We have all been guilty of anger at sometime and maybe you are angry more than your are not, but the answer to letting it go, is to confront it, find the source that triggers it and practice a discipline that helps you let it go.
How many times have we heard ourselves or others say in an angry moment, “I’m not angry?” For some reason, some of us resist admitting to ourselves that we are and this is part of the problem. If we cannot begin with the first step of accepting that we are angry and that it is a normal emotion, then we cannot move forward in releasing it.
When an unpleasant emotion or thought arises, do not suppress it, run away from it, or deny it. Instead, observe it and fully acknowledge it. Being deeply honest and aware of our anger as it arises, helps us understand what triggers it in us.
When I am tired and run down I find I am more vulnerable to anger and my emotions, but with practice, I began to note there was a pattern when anger arose in me and I became aware of how long it took me to come out of it.
We all like to blame others or circumstances for our anger and yet, we have complete control over how we respond to others, as anger is not outside ourselves. Once you become aware of this, you will note that once you are in anger, you are not living from your heart with compassion but are living in your mind.
“When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger out of your system, but that’s not true. When you express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you.” Only understanding and compassion can neutralize anger. – Thich Nhat Hahn
It takes courage, strength and discipline to work through anger in our life. Once I understood anger, I realised I had complete control of it and how long I stayed in that state. It takes practice and patience to achieve this and like all discipline’s in life like yoga and meditation, it becomes easier overtime.
Find time throughout your week to be still and see where anger is taking energy from you. Accept this anger and see what triggers it’s pain. Practice forgiveness and compassion for yourself and from that place, you will be able to allow others the same.
