Becoming

“All the plans, all the expectations…. they are all so hard to give up – The promise of who our son was becoming and the realisation that he had now become – and it was now us, who were becoming and he was our teacher.” – Mother who lost her 11-year-old son….

When we are growing up we all have expectations and dreams of who we will become.   The reason they often fall short is only because of who we believe we are deep down.  We dream of the perfect home, the perfect husband, children that obey us and the mortgage that is paid off in full, so why don’t these dreams manifest?

A belief system provides a core set of values on which we base everything we do, say, or believe in life.  Everybody interprets events in life differently, what seem’s difficult to one person doesn’t necessarily seem to traumatise someone else.   Regardless, our belief systems can be empowering or disabling.  They can be built on optimism or pessimism.

“As long as you have life and breath, believe. Believe for those who cannot. Believe even if you have stopped believing. Believe for the sake of the dead, for love, to keep your heart beating, believe. Never give up, never despair, let no mystery confound you into the conclusion that mystery cannot be yours.” – Mark Helprin

Our beliefs determine what we think, what we are capable of, or not capable of.  What our parents taught us as children, or perhaps a traumatic event, or a breach of trust, can sometimes influence our belief system.  For example, we have been raised in a family were there was a lot of negativity, consequently, we end up internalising shame, guilt, and low self-worth.

Our emotional state can be affected by fear and deep-seated anger. It can be really hard to get to the root cause of our hurt that caused the anger and resentment in the first place. It’s easy to blame other people for the hurt, resentment; however, in a lot of cases the truth is just the opposite.

Our unresolved hurt and pain is actually a barrier between us and those we love. In a lot of cases people who have been hurt, are confused as to why they treat people the way they do or why they are treated badly.  People will say “I know I deserve the best in life” but are actually attracting the opposite and not able to receive this abundance of life.

The real damage often happens in our close relationships with those who we love the most.  It’s the hurt, breaches of trust and trauma that prevent us from having close relationships with them.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

When we acknowledge it is only ourselves that block the flow of love and abundance, we can begin to work out where these barriers began and slowly break them down and open our hearts to receive this wonderful abundance that is waiting for us.

So how can we create our dreams when our belief system is unconsciously destroying them?  Affirmations can help but because we have programmed our minds with negative thoughts unconsciously, we don’t understand why our affirmations don’t work.

When you make your affirmations, more importantly, notice the backlash thoughts that come up after you have said them.  Have a sense of forgiveness about them and where they originally came from, and release them each day.

Choose to believe in yourself and the creative power of the Universe that flows through you.  When you become conscious of your thoughts, you will see how they are limiting you.

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” – Anais Nin

Be patient with your becoming.  It will evolve as the layers shed overtime and you will start to see the beauty and the truth and like a butterfly you will be free to manifest your dreams.

Understand Death

“It’s not who you think you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you’re not.” ~Unknown

Death in our civilization is seen as entirely negative, as if it shouldn’t be happening. Because it’s denied, people are so shocked when somebody dies – as if it’s not possible. We don’t live with the familiarity of death, as some more ancient cultures still do. The familiarity of death isn’t there.

In other cultures who understand death more deeply such as India, you can see the dead bodies being carried through the streets, and being burned in public. To the Westerners, it’s shocking and shouldn’t be seen, but who is right?

Approaching death and death itself, the dissolving of the physical form, is always a great opportunity for spiritual realisation. This opportunity is tragically missed most
of the time, since we live in a culture that is almost totally ignorant of death.

Not long after our son died, I was putting my six-year-old daughter to bed and started to cry and said “I wish Natty would come home to us.”  Looking perplexed, my daughter confidently said “But Mummy, he is home.”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” – Mark Twain

When we understand death is a natural passing into another dimension, no matter what age and that when we let go of the illusion that it could never happen to us or our family members, we can come to understand death rather than fear it.

It is painful only as long as you cling to illusion.

It doesn’t mean that the waves of sadness don’t come or the heartache they are no longer with us isn’t felt, but in between the waves of sadness, if you look at death more deeply, more spiritually, you will begin to feel a sense of peace within.  As you sense that peace, you sense a timeless essence and begin to know it is not the end for us or our loved ones.

We need to surrender to our conditioned understanding of death.  Learn from other cultures about death and  how they grieve openly and have a deeper knowledge of it.

Honour that sacred dimension and realise that what your mind is saying, that it isn’t right, is just a form of conditioning – it isn’t the truth.  Find the truth about death.  Face it, and know that the fear of it is more likely to destroy you than “living fully” in the knowledge that it can come at any hour.

“We all die.  The goal is not to live forever.  The goal is to create something that will.” – unknown

The process of surrender

Lynette Dickson teaches relaxation, yoga and meditation to people with chronic illness and the general public.  She shares her story in the magazine “Wellbeing” describing her journey with Multiple Sclerosis.

I wanted to share a paragraph she wrote on her daily process of surrendering with Yoga and Meditation.

“How do I interpret my journey? What does it mean for me? The honest answer is I believe I am configuring my energy system.  For two-and-a-half years I have devoted most of my daily thoughts to striving for the highest I was capable of.  I have used the power of my mind to visualise yoga, when I was unable to do it because of MS, meditate, chant ancient mantra’s of light, relax and transform my daily experience of life.

I haven’t been perfect.  I have make mistakes in the way I relate to people.  I have been very human and these moments of perceived failure have caused me excruciating emotional pain.  What I have done is maintain the original intention to move toward freedom and that intention planted the seed for a tree of transformation that is still growing.

It’s not a miracle in the sense that I went to sleep one day and woke up cured the next; and I’m not extraordinary in the sense of being particularly gifted in any way.  I have just worked very hard.  The techniques I have used are based in ancient practice and anyone can learn them.”

She is inspiring!  There is no easy way out of our pain, there are no quick fixes in healing our emotional wounds.  I shared Lynnette’s journey because she share’s truthfully about walking through difficulties and confronting fears.

She has not cured her MS but she has cleared away years of emotional wounding through daily practice of Yoga and meditation,  enabling her to access the world of spirit and a new energy to give her the strength to move forward.

If you decide to face your fears, the wounds of your past, remember always…..Use ancient practice’s or energy healing to move through your pain.  Although at times it seems too difficult, through surrendering daily to your old ways, you will find freedom, peace and more energy to create your dreams.

“Something amazing happens when we surrender and just love. We melt into another world, a realm of power already within us. The world changes when we change. the world softens when we soften. The world loves us when we choose to love the world.” – Marianne Williamson

Take Responsibility

“You must take personal responsibility.  You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.  That is something you have charge of.” – Jim Rohn

When life presents us with challenging situations or when we are confronted with personal fears, we have two choices; To resign to this part of ourselves and face we will always be this way,  saying “What can I do?”  “That’s just the way I am” …or take responsibility for them, by stepping into our fears and changing our life.

Charles Givens reminds us that, “You have to let go of your past in order to effectively design your future.” In other words to let go of who you think you are, and take action, instead of wishing things were different.

Instead of asking  “what do I want from life?,” a more powerful question is, “what does life want from me?” – Eckhart Tolle

Whenever an answer, a solution, or a creative idea is needed, stop thinking for a moment by focusing attention on your inner energy field. … When you resume thinking, it will be fresh and creative.  When we allow negative thoughts in and continually feed them, we cannot focus on how to change our situation.

Firstly, be honest with yourself “What part of you is fearful and why do you find it so hard to accept?”.  When we acknowledge and accept this truth, we can start to recognise the conditioned pattern of our thoughts that bring our fear’s to the surface.  You need to be able to watch yourself in these fearful situations and see how you can act differently.

Becoming conscious of this fear will begin to change the course you have created in life and as you step into the fear and realise it wasn’t as big or as scary as you first thought, you will be able to address other parts of your life too.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it”  ~ Eckhart Tolle

Wake up and be conscious of your fearful thoughts.  “Are they real?”  “Are they preventing your growth?” if so, why are you holding onto to them?  Challenge yourself to feel uncomfortable in fearful situations and work through changing your thoughts.  If we do what we have always done, we will always have the same results.

We all have the “Ability” to “Respond” differently in all situations.  Each day is a new beginning.

“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally”. –  Eckhart Tolle

 

Be Inspired and Motivated

”Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ‘em.” – William Shakespeare

The Greatest Salesman in the World

The Greatest Salesman in the World” written by – OG MANDINO

A definite read for those of you who seek a deeper way to live and think.  It will motivate you and help you understand why only a few are successful in life!  Here are the steps that the book encourages you to do.  Don’t wait until tomorrow to make changes.

1:  Today, I begin a new life.  I will shed my past……I will form good habits everyday and become their slave.

2. I will greet each day with love in my heart.  I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me; I will love the failures for they can teach me.  React only in love.

3. I will persist until I succeed.   Each obstacle I will consider as a mere detour to my goal and a challenge to my profession.

4. I am nature’s greatest miracle.  None that came before, none that live today, and none that come tomorrow can walk or talk and move and think like me.  I am unique.

5. I will live this day as if it is my last.  I will waste not a moment mourning yesterday’s misfortunes, yesterday’s defeat’s or yesterday’s aches of the heart.

6. Today I will master my emotions.  Yesterday’s joy will become today’s sadness; yet today’s sadness will grow into tomorrow’s joy.  If I feel insignificant, I will remember my goals.

7.  I will laugh at the world.  No living creature, can laugh but man.   I will laugh at myself and with laughter all things will be reduced to their proper size.

8.  Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.  I will set goals for the day, the week, the month, the year and my life.  I will always strive to make the next hour, better than this one.

9.  I will act now.  Lest I act I will perish in a life of failure, misery and sleepless nights.  Success will not wait.

10. I will have faith.  Only for guidance will I pray, that I may be shown how to acquire what it is that I need.

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson.