Category: Death

Our relationship with Death

by Karen Lang, posted in Death

“Death’s true purpose is to teach us how to live.” – Molly Friedenfeld

I have been asked to be apart of a Donate Life Forum.  It is a forum that allows the public to ask any questions they have about Organ Donation to Organ Donors, Recipients and Medical Staff.  As our son was an organ donor, I will share my experiences.

This forum is just one way that allows us to explore our questions about death and why we find it so difficult to confront this topic in Western Society.  Death is something that we don’t really want to think about or make decisions about if we don’t have to.  Our fear surrounding death is simply because it’s outside our experience, even though we will all go there.

“Live life fully, as if everyday may be your last.”

Death creates fear because it represents uncertainty and mystery for us, but ignoring it will not help us when Death faces us or a loved one. By not thinking about dying, we assume it won’t happen to us, which seems to bring an innate sense that we will always have more time.  Years pass us by in our busyness and there is so much we put off.  Thinking like this, we run the risk that when we or a loved one is dying, we will regret wasted opportunities.

Death has taught me to live in the present, it has helped me see how precious life is and to appreciate those in my life.  Death allowed me to focus on making responsible decisions and to see the joy in life and not all the seriousness.  It showed me the past and the future are simply reflections of an everlasting now.

We are here to help each other discover our individual uniqueness. So learn to acknowledge, honour and accept death as a natural part of our journey.  In doing that we discover that nothing is permanent and so we begin to understand the circle of life.

“Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes.  Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.”  ~Mary Manin Morrissey

 

Stepping out

by Karen Lang, posted in Death, Finding Deep Happiness, Healing Grief, Healing our Bodies

“At times we are all afraid of losing what we have, whether it’s our life or others or our possessions.  But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand.”  – Paul Coelho

My Aunty lost her son earlier this year and she has struggled immensely with her grief and her guilt.  Today she called to tell me about an experience she had, as she was walking along the beach.

She said she was walking alone, lost in the moment when suddenly she felt her son’s presence strongly come by her side.  At first she looked behind her because she was sure someone was near her and yet,  she saw no-one.  She then felt his hand placed softly on her back and he said “All you need to do, is keep moving forward.”

Such a simple statement and yet it was exactly what she needed to hear, to help her in that moment and encourage her.  She was overwhelmed for a few hours after at the thought that he was near her, but as she began to absorb the words he said, she realised it was all she needed to do and that she didn’t need to know how or why it happened.

When we feel overwhelmed in life, whether it is from grief or loneliness or feeling that life is not working towards your goal, you do not need to do anything besides accept, let go and continue to move forward.

If we stay in the pain of the past or locked in what we need right now, we cannot see the bigger picture ahead and all that life will bring us.  Instead, when we have the courage to sit in our pain and see and accept it for what it is, you will begin to trust that change and peace will come, just like the seasons and the sunsets.

As we all reflect on what this year has taught us and has given us, let us not forget that when we thought nothing was changing, it did, or when we thought life would never get better it did, or when we never thought that one of our goals would be completed it did or will in time.

We just need to remember to keep moving forward, always in hope and in love and never lose sight of how precious this moment is.

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.” – Eckhart Tolle