Author: Karen Lang

Counselor/Energy Healer Grief Mentor/Mindfulness teacher/ Author of two books.

Extend yourself

by Karen Lang, posted in Uncategorized

“The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions” – Ellen Glasgow

Do you feel like you are stuck in a rut?  Are you caught up in the same old routine day after day and feel like you are going nowhere?  At times do you wish you could be more or have a different job?

All of us at sometime have felt this “rut” and although all the motivational speakers make it sound easy to move out of, I have found it takes a great deal more than a change of heart.

So here is what I have learned.

It is easy to wish things were different, even dreaming them is easy.  Working towards these new goals and a change of belief, day in and day out and fighting against what feels comfortable is why people give up so quickly.

The first step is to recognise you are in a rut.  You will know this instinctively, but maybe you have not been able to put a name to it.  It’s that feeling you get when you think you  can’t be bothered doing the same thing or that you don’t want to be treated badly or disrespectfully anymore.

Once you have established that you want to make changes, seek out a recommended Counsellor or a motivational book that can give you some direction in changing your old habits and beliefs.

“Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” – Bill Gates

One thing for sure is that you cannot do the same things that you have always done!  You must step out of your comfort zone and try new adventures in life.  Perhaps start a course on a topic that you are interested in,  join an activity that will connect you to people who will encourage you and extend you.

Look at your diet and exercise programme and see how this is limiting you in becoming a healthier you.  If you have always run or walked, perhaps try yoga or Pilates or join a meditation group to still your busy mind.

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But, above all, try something.” – Franklin D Roosevelt.

It will not happen overnight, and there are no quick fixes!  (I wish) So once you are committed to making those changes, you must realise it is a choice for life and not a casual change in your attitude.

Success often comes to those who want it the most and who focus their energy on getting there.

It takes patience, perseverance and sometimes a little helping hand to get you through and if you are hungry enough to make these changes, you will find there is an unlimited source of help and energy out there for you to connect to.

Most importantly, don’t let those harmful thoughts of not being good enough or fear of failing ever stop you from moving forward.

Letting Go

by Karen Lang, posted in Uncategorized, Understanding Forgiveness

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”  – Steve Marboli

The story below reflects how at times, we all hold onto unnecessary stress and pain in our lives.

I have found that when I am holding onto unforgiveness for anyone or any situation in my life, I feel heavy and burdened.  Forgiveness is the simplest act and yet we hold onto this pain out of an illusion of justice and for the need to protect our ego.

When we decide that living freely and more compassionately is more important that holding on, we can learn to move forward into our true self and true potential.  The lightness you will feel after forgiving and letting go will convince you it’s worth it.

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” – C JoyBell

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

“Letting go with forgiveness, gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

Silence is Golden

by Karen Lang, posted in Uncategorized

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” – Stephen R Convey

Next time you are with someone, watch them, as you listen to them.  Listen with your heart, which means you are connecting to how they feel.  Imagine yourself in their world, where their feelings are valid and although you may not agree with them, listen compassionately.

When you speak and you say something, pay attention to their response. How do they really feel about it?  Don’t just listen to the words, pay attention to them between the words.

Experiment and see how those around you respond differently when they feel you are listening to them.  See the positive reaction in your conversations when you try this approach and perhaps see another side of those that you thought you knew.

“Only from the heart, can you touch the sky.” – Rumi

Most arguments are from not listening to each other and from not allowing others to have their own opinion.  When we feel we need to protect our EGO or refuse to admit we are wrong, we create barriers between those we love.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”  – Leo Buscaglia

When you truly understand the perspective of others, you are most likely to reach productive outcomes and when people feel heard, you will find your discussions are less argumentative.

Understand that as you begin to change your listening style to a more empathetic one, you may often feel inefficient, so don’t give up after one session.  It takes time to truly hear someone and to replay the essence of their thoughts back.

Overtime as you learn to listen differently and understand those around you, you will find a deeper connection to all those you meet.

“Let the water settle, you will see the moon and the stars mirrored in your being.” – Rumi

Enter into the Stillness

by Karen Lang, posted in Uncategorized

“There is a point where in the mystery of existence contradictions meet; where movement is not all movement and stillness is not all stillness; where the idea and the form, the within and the without, are united; where infinite becomes finite, yet not.”   – Rabindranath Tagore

For a long time my mind was busy even when I meditated.  I would begin my meditation with good intent but after a few minutes, I found I would drift off with thoughts about the rest of the day.  It takes discipline to enter into stillness.

You can work with restlessness by focusing the awareness on a single object such as the breath.  Because a restless mind tends to hop from one object to another, this technique produces a single focus and you cannot focus on the breath and on your thoughts at the same time.

Deep Breathing helps release your stress and creates an inner calmness.   Become aware of your thoughts coming in but also letting them go, knowing that only this moment is important.

Throughout history, cultures have believed in the sacred power of words.  Finding a mantra to chant in your meditation helps keep you focused as well.  Some examples are below, so find one that resonates with you.

Om Shanti Shanti

Aum or Om

Silent repetition of a mantra leads to a deep and profound understanding of its meaning, which is an irreplaceable boost to the spirit behind your chanting.

There are many ways to enter into stillness but most importantly you must “Practice.”  You must learn to discipline your mind from busyness and the more often you practice, the easy this stillness will integrate into the rest of your life.

“Living in the present moment is the full awareness and appreciation of the life we have, right here, right now. Present moment awareness is being aware of what is happening in ourselves and our world instead of being lost in random fears from the past and uncertainties, hopes, and expectations for the future. In the absence of those fantasies we have the opportunity to enjoy our day-to-day living.” – Shannon Duncan

Believe in yourself

by Karen Lang, posted in Uncategorized

“Believe in yourself and all that you are.  Know that there is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle.” – Christian Larson

I constantly limit myself.  I am learning however, to believe that beneath those limitations, I have a choice to change my old beliefs and work on my true potential.  When people say “Do not be afraid to believe that you deserve what you want in life” or  “Do not be afraid to believe that you are extraordinary,” how many of us believe that is possible.

“As the magnificence of a butterfly can never be diminished, nor will man’s hope be lessened in the face of adversity”

First of all, establish what it is that you believe about yourself and how that is limiting your potential.  Surround yourself with inspiring teachers and read stories about those who have had major adversaries and setbacks in life and yet somehow overcame them.

You have to be prepared to suffer a little to reach your goal.  Doing a little every day adds up to a lot.  The effect will accumulate. You can dream as big as you want to dream.  Just realise that you have to do something about it today.  Ask yourself, “What can I do this day to advance toward my dream?”

“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not”

There is more than one way to do anything, so when a door closes for you, don’t give up at the first stop sign,  move forward and see how you can look at the situation from a different perspective and work through any obstacles or self-limiting thoughts.

Self-doubt is a sneaky voice that creeps up in your head.  It criticises you when life gets difficult.  It beats you down when you struggle to stand up or when you fall into adversity.   These thoughts are merely illusions of your old self, so strip them from your mind today.

When you find what it is that holds you back, acknowledge your fears and let them go.  Daily practice to re-train you thought process is the hard part but overtime, you will see that it pays off and your dreams, self-confidence and potential will shine through.

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” – Roald Dahl