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Gurdjieff was a renowned spiritual teacher who lived in the early part of the twentieth century.  Within the community there was a very bad tempered man.  No one could stand him because he was very aggressive.  Every little thing caused him to spin off into a tantrum.  Everything irritated him.  He complained constantly, and so everyone felt the need to tiptoe around him, to avoid an explosion.  Most just wished he would go away.

Gurdjieff regularly would get his students to do meaningless tasks.   One day there was about 40 people cutting up a lawn into little pieces and moving it to another place on the grounds.

That was it for this angry man and so he blew up, got in his car and stormed off.  There was a spontaneous celebration in the community as he left.  But when they told Gurdjieff what had happened he responded, “Oh, no!” and went off to find him.

Three days later they both came back. That night as one of the students was serving Gurdjieff his supper he asked, “Sir why did you bring him back?” 

Gurdjieff lowered his voice, “Your not going to believe this, and you must tell no one, but I pay him to be here!”

Pema Chodron – Shambhala Pocket Classics


I’m pretty sure people aren’t paying annoying or aggressive people to be our life, however, what I have learned over and over again, is until I learn the lesson that this difficult person is teaching me about me, they will definitely hang around like they are being paid!


“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, “What else could this mean?”
Shannon L. Alder


19 thoughts on “Relationships

    1. Whenever we are trying to change another person in our life, it can create more conflict. However, when we take time on a regular basis to look within and find any hidden, anger, resentment, or impatience and work on that, we can often find a solution in our outer circumstances 💕💚 Hope that helps Irene.

      1. Thank you Karen. I have been using the way, where I show my way and hope, that will inspire, which also works sometimes. But this one is in general very angry, no matter others around tell him, that we understand, that he is angry. I just don’t allow anyone to destroy my mood, which also have been tried sometimes.

      2. Yes it isn’t easy to be around those that have deep pain and react in anger. It’s a balance between compassion and setting strong boundaries and only you know how to do that. 💚

      3. Thank you and yes, you are right. Maybe it is all about learning to set those boundaries. When I do, the situation change a bit. Enjoy your day, Karen.

  1. Changing another is not possible…nor is it our responsibility. Changing ourselves IS possible and IS our responsibility. And…we have choices. Great post, Karen. A powerful reminder, indeed!

  2. Great food for thought. It reminds me of the story of the angry monkey from India children’s books. You can search my blog or google it. Sometimes the best choice is to step away and not let this person impact you.🙏

    1. I think if we don’t know the angry person we should definitely step away, but when you work with them everyday, or this anger is in your partner, or family member, it’s very difficult to ignore it. Facing what their anger arises in us, and that might mean finding the courage to say no and set strong boundaries, or working on the anger in ourselves, is often the best way to end a vicious cycle. Thanks Val 💕💚

      1. It is very difficult. I think we have all felt this at some stage. It’s a journey of learning that’s for sure! and so good to have you sharing your wisdom too Val ✨

      1. It has, thank you Karen. For all the hype and preparations for sure disaster, we were spared with weather that was no worse than a usual thunderstorm. We all are grateful, but I would say still a little in shock. It is hard to watch the TV and see what happened 100 miles east of us in the Bahamas.
        I hope you have a wonderful day🌻

      2. Glad to hear. And yes we have similar experiences here, where we are told the worse before it happens, but in the end all we can do is prepare and be ready for anything. Have s great day too Lorrie💕

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