“We are all visitors to this time and place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love….and then we return home” – Native Proverb
My son Nathan would have been 22 years old on August 18th. It’s hard to get my head around that number, when I only have memories of a beautiful boisterous 9-year-old, whose life ambitions included, a Demolition Man or becoming another Jim Carey!
Nathan would have been a good Jim Carey as he had a great sense of humour and loved making his family and his friends laugh.
As I reflect on his upcoming birthday, knowing so much more than I did then, I can honestly say, I’m grateful. Of course, not that this precious boy was taken from me far too early, but because of who I have become since his death.
I decided a long time ago to let go of the “What ifs” and the “Guilt” as I knew they were consuming and constricting my energy, never allowing me to be fully present while I lived in the past. This was a long and painful process and yet, when I finally gave myself permission to let go, I became lighter and more spacious towards myself and towards those I love.
I have a wonderful husband and I have two beautiful girls (pictured above) that enrich my life everyday and remind me to live fully. I know that everyday is a gift and I know that Nathan’s death is my journey to walk through and to continue to learn from.
I sometimes wish we didn’t have to learn our life lessons from pain, from death and from sickness, but for some reason it wakes us up, it changes our path and it allows us to see the truth in our life, and that is a gift.
“How long will I love you…. as long as stars are above you, and longer if I can.” – Ellie Goulding