“Success is not final; failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
Why is it that suffering is our greatest motivation to change? When we get the call from our doctor to tell us we have cancer, or told that we have been made Redundant or our husband of 30 years, decides to leave us.
Suffering blesses us with a willingness to let go of the ways in which we normally react. When all the ways we have learnt over the years to deal with stress, no longer works, it causes us to let got of whatever it is that we have been clinging to, and do things differently.
It takes courage to change the way we have lived before suffering came along. You may not be able to change the diagnosis, or divorce or the drama, but you can change your perception and experience through this suffering.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” – Paul Coelho
People used to say to me after losing our son Nathan “You have every right to stay in a place of pain or depression, for what happened to you is devastating.” But what I recognised, as many do when they are suffering, is that staying in that deep place of pain doesn’t help or change your situation.
When we react to suffering in our usual way and it doesn’t work, we have to go to a deeper place within ourselves and discover who we really are, rather than who we are in this tragedy. I questioned everything about my life after Nathan died, my entire identity was taken from me and in order to survive, I needed to discover, who I would become through this suffering.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” – Kahlil Gibran
How do you find this deeper place? You must become still in your pain. Practicing meditation and Yoga, will take you beyond the chatter and the chaos of your emotions and will allow you to witness your feelings and slowly let them go.
Each day is a lifelong practice of decision-making and creating. Only you, can make this decision to go deeper. By accepting your situation overtime without judgement, you will start to feel stronger, and understand your true nature and potential.
“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what my heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” – Charles Dickens