Search the Darkness

Image result for pictures of darkness with a torch

“The most precious light is the one that visits you in your darkest hour!”
Mehmet Murat ildan

 

I was listening to a Tara Brach podcast recently and she asked the audience, “What are you unwilling to feel?”

Her question gave me pause as I asked, “What fears or feelings am I disconnecting from or diminishing in me? and why?

I have often believed in the illusion that I can ignore my fears and yet, trying to avoid them is insane, because fear will just appear in another form.  Like shame, depression, anxiety, anger, or in physical pain or chronic health problems.  No matter what, fear always finds its way back to the surface.

Over time, I have learned to sit with my fears, and although I have never felt safe or comfortable in their company, I have learned to trust they are here to teach me and to grow me.

From this space I have learned to understand that they are not ‘my fears’ they are ‘the fears’ and this helps me release them more readily.

I have learned to trust that when I face them and understand them, they leave willingly, and their departure always empowers me and expands all my experiences in life.

 

Search the Darkness by RUMI

Sit with your friends; don’t go back to sleep
Don’t sink like a fish to the bottom of the sea.

Life’s water flows from darkness.
Search the darkness don’t run from it.

Night travelers are full of light,
and you are, too; don’t leave this companionship.

Be a wakeful candle in a golden dish,
don’t slip into the dirt like quick silver.

The moon appears for the night travelers,
be watchful when the moon is full.

22 thoughts on “Search the Darkness

  1. Karen, this post is so helpful. Acknowledging “the fear” rather than naming it “my fear” is a powerful way to face them when they show up, as they do in some way, as you eloquently stated. Thank you so much. 💕🙏🏻

  2. This brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been within the Dark Night of the Soul, mourning yet another family loss. Today I am choosing to bring the Lessons and the Wisdom with me as I tentatively take my first shaky steps towards my JOY, leaving the dark behind. Bless you for this post! It has greatly encouraged me!! XOXO

    1. Loss is always difficult to face Amy but in embracing both the joy and the sadness of death, we can live fully in this moment and in the unknown. Hugs and love to you 💕💚

  3. “I have learned to trust that when I face them and understand them, they leave willingly, and their departure always empowers me and expands all my experiences in life.” Yes, wisdom. I also really like what you said when you said not “my fears” but “the fears,” a lot of what you write resonates with me, whether I am currently processing “it” or on the other side again waiting for the next wave without hurrying. 🙂

    1. Fear does comes in waves and is a great reminder to dig a little deeper and continue to release the illusion it’s real! 😁A work in progress for us all Ka! Thank you 💕💚

  4. From the image, to the opening quote, to the questions you posed to yourself, to your realization that facing them helps you to face and understand them, to the ending words by RUMI … an uplifting and beautiful post.

  5. My sister is a grief counselor and we were just discussing how grief can be stuffed so deep, you think you’ve worked through it but you haven’t. Along the lines of what you don’t want to feel, I guess . . . I’m with you on the fears. Feels like I’ve been a lifetime besting them:).

    1. “Over time, I have learned to sit with my fears, and although I have never felt safe or comfortable in their company, I have learned to trust they are here to teach me and to grow me. ” this sentence and this particular comment on grief made a write a new blog post.

      A very touching post and an equally thoughtful comment. I thank both of you sincerely.

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