“Love said to me, there is nothing that is not me. Be Silent” – Rumi
All the great teachers, philosophers and poet’s speak about making time and adapting silence into our lives. They encourage us to practice stillness and re-connect to the growing separation we have from self. As we busy ourselves with all the distractions we now have available, maybe it’s time to acknowledge why? and consider it may simply be to avoid connecting to our pain.
Our world has become a constant feed of information, noise, and entertainment and there is no end to what we can distract ourselves with. The children, phones, TV, internet, work, exercise, socialising, housework, shopping, cooking and relationships, just to name a few. Where amongst these activities do we find time to reflect, to practice stillness or stop?
Distractions keep us from being focused and aware of our feelings and our body rhythms. When we are aware, we are more likely to notice how we are feeling emotionally, and noticing if our body is out of rhythm and so we can avoid sickness and energy depletion.
In those first few weeks after our son’s death, I didn’t want to face grief. I knew I needed to and yet, I kept avoiding it by being busy at work, at home and busy in my mind. It wasn’t until someone introduced me to yoga that I even knew what it meant to be still and allow my mind to rest.
When we are up against self-doubt, grief, fear, procrastination or any other form of resistance, we can find it very difficult to slow down, let alone establish a practice. So start a routine at a time of the day that will suit you and commit to a practice. I found, when my practice was the same time everyday, I was more likely to do it.
Allowing stillness in your life will always bring forth emotions and pain that you have been avoiding, so do not be afraid as these emotions come to the surface. Seek out trained practitioners if you need support along your journey, so you can avoid feelings of isolation or fear.
Be kind to yourself and respect your body and mind. When you are focused, you will notice signs when your body is out of balance. Allowing our past wounds to heal, rather than suppressing or avoiding them, will always lead to a healthier you. Open a gap in your day, create a space and be patient for results.
Some practices below have helped me focus.
Establish a healthy morning routine of yoga, stillness, meditation or walking.
Keep a to-do list and prioritize your day, leave unnecessary chores off the list, so you have time to be still.
Care less what other people think and make yourself number 1! Learn to say “no” to demanding people and that way you will always have enough energy for youself first, and then everyone around you.
Clear visible, distracting digital clutter that keeps your mind active and on guard. Turn off your phone, and allow your mind to rest once a day.
“When you connect to the silence within you, that is when you can make sense of the disturbance going on around you.” – Stephen Richards
8 thoughts on “Distractions”
Great post and tips!
Thanks Diana, I feel like I say the same words all the time! and yet, I believe “Silence” and stillness is what helps us through our challenges in life.
I can really relate to this post…thank you for sharing 🙂
Thankyou for stopping by. I think we can all identify with distractions!
I went through this ‘finding the stillness’ twice. The first time I used it like all the other things, as a distraction from my pain. I would get up early and watch the sunrise every day. So I either kept busy, or I lived in that world of enjoying the present moment, but I avoided the pain. The second time – eighteen months later – I found the stillness again but this time used it as a time to feel the pain. It was a very dark despairing time. Yet it was necessary to feel the pain in order to heal from it. Also, I use feelings of pain now to recognize what is out of balance in my life and take actions to address that balance. Thanks for this post and for your list.
Thankyou Elizabeth for sharing. I think you have described honestly how difficult it is to turn around and face our pain. It takes courage to take that first step and you encourage others with your story.
I just discovered your blog. I’m so sorry about the loss of your son. I’ve added your blog to the website that I’ve been curating in memory of my 23 year old son who was killed in May 2012.
The site is a collection of blogs, articles, videos and any other resources that I think might be helpful for grieving parents and siblings. I look forward to reading through all of your posts.
Thankyou so much for stopping by and adding me to your website. You are very recent in your grief and I am sorry for your loss.
It is a wonderful website that covers all types of grief and I am sure you are helping many.
I look forward to any comments you have and hope you can be inspired and heal, as you walk along this very difficult journey.