Giving

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
― Rumi

If I asked you if you were a giving person, what would you say?  Apparently most people say YES.  What does it mean to be giving?  What conditions do you place on others when you give?

Giving freely isn’t something we achieve easily.  It is a practice that takes a long time to get right and we often need to stop and question our motives behind the giving.  Most of us will find that we are giving with an underlying expectation.

When we give to receive more love, more attention or more recognition, we are giving from a place of fear and a need in ourselves that hasn’t been recognised.  For example, the business man who is constantly seeking the boss’s approval, or the Mother who only gives to her husband and children to receive more love, or the friend who is always there for you but wants the same attention given back to them.

When we are constantly expecting, we will find that we are often disappointed in life and that the world isn’t treating us with the love and care we think we deserve.  It is a common feeling.  How often do you hear people say, “No-one understands how much I give.”  “Why does no-one appreciate or recognise all my hard work?” In fact, when you are giving based on fear, you will never feel satisfied.

When we give from a place of love without conditions, rather from a place of expectations and fear, you will find that not only will you receive exactly what you need but more than you imagined.

I have been guilty of this.  It took me a long time to realise that giving freely means not expecting any outcome, not even a thank-you.  Of course there is nothing wrong with someone thanking you for your kindness, it’s about becoming conscious of your thoughts when you are giving to others.

Ask yourself, “Why don’t I feel appreciated?”.  Ask yourself, “What do I expect from others when I give?”.  If you find yourself saying “when I give…., I want to receive, love, attention, happiness or peace etc, then you are not giving freely from a place in your heart. No matter how hard we search, no-one can fulfill ours needs or expectations.  When we truly learn to love ourselves, appreciate ourselves exactly as we are, then overtime, we can learn to give to others in the same way.

“Do not be satisfied with the stories that come before you. Unfold your own myth.”

Trust there is a process of learning to love yourself.  I have learnt this by becoming still and aware of my thoughts and my expectations.  See and feel what it is that you lack inside and then begin to search how you can fill your heart with love . What you will discover is that you hold the key and in unlocking it, you will receive exactly what you need.

Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”
― Rumi